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If you are like a lot of parents, finding time to go on a date is not easy. What is harder is finding someone to watch your children so you can have that time.
I don’t know how many times I have been told or I have seen people make a suggestion to have date nights once a month. In an ideal world, my husband and I would have some sort of date night out that recommended amount of times. However, it doesn’t happen, but maybe 2 or 3 times a year.
Busy Lives
We are very busy. We have 4 children; 2 from my previous marriage and 2 from my current marriage. I am having to take my 2 older ones all around town and the 2 younger ones are wanting to always be around us. When the children are younger, they don’t do a whole lot. They aren’t in a lot of sports or they aren’t out socializing. Once they hit high school, it’s a whole different ballgame. Extra curricular activities and socialization are the common theme with the 2 older children. Not only that, but on Fridays and Sundays, we are dropping them off and picking them up from their father.
Then we have to add in our busy and very demanding work schedules to the craziness of our teens. There is never a dull moment in our schedules.
Lack of Help
The other factor we have is not having the help to be able to take our date nights. The reason I say we get 2-3 nights a year is because that is when my parents are in town and we can finally get out. We do not believe in having a babysitter watch our children. We have a nanny, but I don’t want to put the burden on her. She has her own children she needs to tend to and spend time with. We have a hard time trusting anyone with our children.
While these may seem like excuses, they are the truth. We try to find time in other ways to make it feel like we are on date nights or to ensure we are getting some good quality time together. It is very important to us to stay connected and to be as close as we can. Going on a trip together without our children is something the two of us are planning on doing, but again, we have to think about our jobs and having someone watch our children while we are away. It is not an easy feat.
While there are so many at home date night ideas out there, many of them still require the children to be out of the house. Maybe, they require you spend a lot of money. You can keep it simple and cheap, or most costly and extravagant. No matter what you choose, just make sure you are having a great time and are connecting.
Do Not Worry!
It’s okay. Don’t panic about not having enough time with you honey. Not having someone to watch your children is not an excuse to not get quality time with him. You can have that time, you have to make time. My husband and I are diligent about putting our children to bed and having some time for us on the weekends. While we would love to be able to sit and watch a movie with our children, we also know the importance of that connection. These are just a few suggestions to connect and bond with your husband.
1. Watch your favorite movie or show
Come on! This seems so basic and obvious, right? You would think it is, but it’s so much fun to have that one show you both enjoy watching. Prior to my husband and I moving in together, we didn’t have a common show. Then we started watching shows we were both into and now we talk about them. We can’t wait for the weekend to turn on our shows. We may even have a drink to enjoy while watching. This helps us to unwind and bond.
2. Talk
What? You mean I actually have to talk to my husband? Yep, you bet your bottom. Christmas night, after everyone went to bed and left, we stayed up. We started a fire, poured a drink, turned on Christmas music, and talked. We also had our traditional Christmas dance that he started making me do a few years ago. It was such a memorable night. It was like we were dating again. We talked about memories of our childhood, what made us happy, memories of our relationship, and anything else that came to mind.
We get so wrapped up in the hustle and bustle of life, that we forget to connect on that emotional level where we still learn about each other. Learning about each other means opening up and being a little vulnerable.
3. Play Games
There are different couples games out there. Here is one “The Couples Game”. It has some fun questions that you and your significant other will answer and get to know each other better. Another one is “Let’s Get Deep”. This helps couples get down deep (if you feel you need to) when it comes to getting to know your significant other. If you want a spicier game, they even have a game called “Spice It Up”.
4. Have a Candlelight Dinner
Why can’t you have a candlelight dinner with your children and husband? There is nothing wrong with including your children in your date night. Let it be the start of your at home date night where you end it without your children (they will be asleep).
5. Have a Spa Night
Light the candles, turn on some romantic music, and set the tone for a pampering night. Use some great smelling oil to give massages. Soak your feet in little feet tubs with some epsom salt. Take a bath together. Lie down on the bed with some cucumber slices on your eyes and a mask on your face while holding hands. Relax and become intimate with each other.
6. Buy Coupon Books and Use Them
What are those? They are fun activities that you can do with your husband. They can spice things up and help change up the activities you do together. Some may be as simple as “Give each other massages” while others may be “Cook dinner together.” Yes, there are some that are little more explicit if that is what you desire. Here is some for the more naughty coupons called Naughty Love Coupons or you can get this one Love Coupons for Couples.
7. Cook Dinner Together
Whether you are an avid cook or you are a beginner, you can connect with each other while you cook your favorite meal. If you do not trust yourself with cook, you can always order from HelloFresh or other services where you can have the food delivered and the directions are easy to follow. Have fun, involve the children if you must, but just enjoy the process.